bright, sparkling eyes

I met her when I was around 15-16, maybe younger. She was a year older than me and she had the prettiest face. Bright and sharp, her eyes were sparkling. She used to wear these bandanas over her short, blondish hair that intensified them. Different to most of the girls i had met before I was drawn into her. We kept staring at each other, someone introduced us and before long we started going out on these dates. I remember we walked and walked, talking about the things that were important to us back then, music and films. She was smart, cheerful and interesting. There was this bench (it is still laying there today) where we sat until it was late and we had to go home. I kept coming up with these random topics of conversation because I was too scared to kiss her, but I wanted her to stay. It was agonising. One particular night we went to the movies together to see ‘When a man loves a woman’. She had her legs hanging on the top of the front chair and as I was trying to get closer I had my legs underneath hers. Waiting, hoping rather for something to happen. It was all about getting as close to her as possible. At one point she dropped her legs and rested them on mine. The feeling is hard to describe but its still with me. As happy as one can be I guess..

Eventually I did kiss her at the end but things just did not work out between us. Soon after I left home to study abroad and so we lost contact. I would see her from time to time and I‘d always find out how she was doing. Not very good, seemed to be the answer the last couple of years. Today’s news I find hard to believe though…

No matter what, I think I will always remember her like she was when we met. Just like a little girl. I guess there is no earthly way of knowing what was in your heart when it stopped going.