Tuesday, October 10, 2006

being in control?

Friday, October 06, 2006

dream sequence #4


We had a nice big breakfast at Mike’s Café. A three-egg Spanish omelette, pancakes with maple syrup and black coffee. We didn’t really talk much, just read the Sunday paper. When we finished we walked outside to smoke a cigarette. It was a chilly, clear morning so we rushed in the car and turned the heating on. My friend was driving and I dozed off in the front seat listening to an old Dylan song on the radio.
I love these moments I thought.
Suddenly he hit the breaks at a red light and I stirred up. I looked outside the window and there she was. I hadn’t seen her in almost two years. I froze, my mind went blank. Then the light turned green again. She never noticed me.
That night I went to bed early but I couldn’t sleep. The phone rang just after 2:00 in the morning.

-Did I wake you?
-No, couldn’t sleep
-Why not? Something wrong?
-Not much, just thinking of someone
-I had a really bad dream again..
-Was it about him?
-Yes, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It has been 6 fucking years.
-Nothing’s wrong with you. This is normal I said as I switched the receiver from my left hand to the right.
-I guess…anyway, sorry for the late call..love you loads
-No worries..

I stood there in the darkness with the phone in my hands for some time after we hung up. I thought about dreams intensely. I realised that dreams come from the past, not the future. Dreams shouldn’t control you because you control them in the first place.
Then I peacefully fell asleep.